Post by decagon on Mar 17, 2010 3:14:07 GMT -5
Our world is reaching its end. We all see it. Partisans fight in the streets. Beggars are at every corner. The tears of children are a common sight. Civilization as we know it is crumbling.
In these dark times, we need a hero. Someone that the people can relate to. Someone we know will have our back, who will protect us when everything seems lost.
But who could possibly accomplish this? Who indeed? Who could possibly have the enduring appeal of such characters as Hello Kitty and Spongebob, yet still preserve the burly manlesque of Steven Segal and the Ninja Turtles?
The answer, as we have known for centuries, is Crab Nicholson. Heresy, you cry! He has been sealed away behind the most arcane of seals at the bottom of the sea, his mighty claws forever cast into the darkness of obscurity! He is a demon, an outsider, an unholy pariah!
Nay, I say, nay! Cast aside those who would hold us back. Cast away your aged misconceptions of what the world is, of what the world should be! The very earth cries out for Crab Nicholson, and who are we to deny her? It is our responsibility, no, our duty to bring about the resurrection of our birthright, the revival of the one true God!
Let us join together and bring about a new age of Aquarius, a glorious age of all that is Crab Nicholson! JACHSAHN! Go forth, children of the Crab, and bring us swift victory!
In these dark times, we need a hero. Someone that the people can relate to. Someone we know will have our back, who will protect us when everything seems lost.
But who could possibly accomplish this? Who indeed? Who could possibly have the enduring appeal of such characters as Hello Kitty and Spongebob, yet still preserve the burly manlesque of Steven Segal and the Ninja Turtles?
The answer, as we have known for centuries, is Crab Nicholson. Heresy, you cry! He has been sealed away behind the most arcane of seals at the bottom of the sea, his mighty claws forever cast into the darkness of obscurity! He is a demon, an outsider, an unholy pariah!
Nay, I say, nay! Cast aside those who would hold us back. Cast away your aged misconceptions of what the world is, of what the world should be! The very earth cries out for Crab Nicholson, and who are we to deny her? It is our responsibility, no, our duty to bring about the resurrection of our birthright, the revival of the one true God!
Let us join together and bring about a new age of Aquarius, a glorious age of all that is Crab Nicholson! JACHSAHN! Go forth, children of the Crab, and bring us swift victory!